There's no sense in beating around the bush, I'll just come out and say

Some will be happy, some will be sad . . it's Progress Reports today.

There may be some surprises, but I doubt it, because, you see

If you haven't been doing all your work, you've already heard it, from me!

But, if you've been doing your very best, then hold your chin up high.

You should be very proud of your work (you know what? So am I!).

MOST of the class is working hard and trying to succeed

but there's one whose messing up. Messing up, indeed!

His Conduct grade's appalling. His work has been quite bad.

And when he sees his progress report, he's gonna be quite sad!

Normally, I wouldn't do this, but this one has been so lame

that I'm going to go ahead and give all of you his name.

His name is Kevin Mc . . . wait a minute! How can this possibly be?

The worst report in the whole stack turns out to be me!

Someone's been in my grade book! And giving me bad marks!

When I find out who did this, there'll be some flying sparks!

Who could it be? Did they slip up and leave some hidden clue?

Everything is spelled correctly, so I don't think it's one of you!

Well, I have a mystery, so while I try to solve this crime

Here's a little something for you, to help you pass the time.

Grammar Giggles and Morning Math, there's no mystery there.

And for some of you, when your report gets home, cover your derriere!