Another short week for you kids! Well, that's good for you.

But when you're not here on Friday, do you know what I have to do?

A district-wide training class on how to punish kids!

It seems too many students aren't answering for what they did.

So, the district's cracking down. There's trouble for you ahead.

I heard a rumor about what we'll learn. Here's is what was said:

If a student has their shoes untied, we can stomp down on their toes.

If they talk back to the teacher, they have to pull a hair out of their nose!

If they roll their eyes, with attitude, and start to act real surly,

well, all I'll say is do you remember what Moe always did to Curly?

And homework, oh YES! Homework. If your homework isn't done,

you will have to eat a bug, maybe more than one!

If you talk too much (or not enough, there is a very fine line),

We get to staple your lips closed! (You can remove them when you dine).

As you can see, this is pretty harsh, but this is what I heard.

Perhap some of you would like to think no punishment is preferred.

Well that is always an option, but you must do your part.

Doing Grammar Giggles and Morning Math might be a good start.

And just in case you mess up and with punishment you get stuck,

When I poke your eyes or pull your nose, I'll be thinking "Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk!"

(and if you don't know what "Nyuk" means, shame on you!)