I was sleeping soundly. I was dreaming. It was great!

Then suddenly, my wife screamed out, "Get up, you fool! You're late!"

Quickly, I leaped out of bed,

tripped on the sheets, and smacked my head.

I RUSHED into the bathroom, (I had to shower, don't you know).

Of course, I kicked the door jamb (I think I broke my toe)!

I hurried through my shower, combed my hair, brushed my teeth, and started yelling.

It wasn't toothpaste on that brush! (Now my teeth will have no itch or swelling)!

I ran downstairs and out the door. I jumped into my car.

I had no gas. I guess I wasn't getting very far!

I grabbed a hose and started siphoning fuel from my mower.

As the gas poured into my mouth, I thought, "Can I sink any lower?"

The answer, apparently was "Yes!" because I ran upstairs, and then . . .

I reached for my toothbrush and paste, and grabbed the wrong tube again!

I barely had time to rinse and spit, then I FLEW out of the door,

hopped in my car, started it up and pushed the pedal to the floor!

I raced through my neighborhood, down the street, and towards Village Green.

It was an awesome display of driving, the likes of which you've never seen!

I got to school JUST in time, and let out a HUGE sigh.

I had time to do Grammar Giggles and Morning Math - my students will not cry!